Reason to Trust #24 [Sandy]

Sandy HopkinsAge: 40+ // Favorite Food: Dutch salted licorice // Dream Job: not sure, but definitely something that involves expanding God’s Kingdom. // Current Season: Being a mum & working part-time. // Met Jesus: At the age of 22yrs whilst traveling the world. // Favorite Verse: I have lots, but Jer 29:11 always speaks to me in whatever season of life I’m in…“For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” // Instagram: @shoppysandy

I made the decision to ask Jesus into my life at the age of 22yrs & stepped into the grace & abundance of ‘the God life’ without a clue of how big & faithful this amazing God is.

The dream I had for my life could be described as the ‘Suburban Fairytale’. All I wanted was to fall in love, get married, buy a house & have babies.

The suburban fairytale started falling into place, all except for the last part – children. Things didn’t turn out quite the way I expected or wanted! To date I have had 14 pregnancies, 13 miscarriages & I have 2 children.

After 2 consecutive miscarriages I became pregnant with my first son, who is now 22yrs old. I was over-joyed & thought that any health issues I had were now behind me. Another 2 miscarriages soon followed after his birth & I sought out a specialist, who after several tests informed my husband & I that the cause of our miscarriages was a chromosome translocation. After more specialists & more tests I was told by a Genetic Counsellor that I had a 1 in 10 chance of miscarrying again. How wrong he was (& oh how I would love to pull that specialists bottom lip over his head)!

For 15yrs I lived my life desperately trying to get pregnant, & once I was pregnant, constantly concerned about losing the baby. Seeing pregnant women was particularly difficult for me, but I decided that the alternative – becoming hurt & bitter – was worse.

In a nutshell, the biggest lesson I learned over the last 15yrs is this…

Ps 126:5 “Those who sow in tears will reap in joy…”

It’s a scripture that I was always tempted to rip out of my Bible – I never understood what it meant.

One simple word changed the way I read this scripture forever – to me this scripture is something I now live by. It doesn’t say “those who sow tears”. It says “those who sow in tears”. For me this means continuing to do good, continuing to serve others, continuing to give of myself despite how I feel. It means sowing during the storm seasons of life, sowing when you’re going through a hard time & concerning yourself with others. It means giving of yourself so that your whole world is not consumed by your own grief, pain & loss.

Practically, it also meant for me to rejoice when someone had just announced they were pregnant. To be genuinely happy for them & I chose intentionally to give a gift to friends who had just given birth. It also meant me praying for others to conceive & believing God for breakthrough or healing for them. I chose not to become the woman who couldn’t give a cuddle to someone else’s baby.

It wasn’t the only thing I did during that 15yr season – I also continually poured out my heart to God. I let God in on how I was feeling – I didn’t hold back any thing. I think that’s a big part of why I feel healed & whole today.

If you’re still wondering about my Math from the beginning of my story – I now have 2 sons. My youngest son is 7yrs old & came to us via another miracle, we adopted him! I honestly think I am the most blessed mum on the planet & I’m so glad that God’s plan for my life is bigger than anything I could have ever dreamed!

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