Reason to Trust #25 [Christina]

Christina DellarAge: 25 // Favourite Food: Anything that comes from the ocean and Mexican. // Dream Job: What I am working towards now… full time makeup artist and online magazine. // Current Season: The season where you can almost feel your faith muscles grow! // Met Jesus: When I was 5. // Instagram: @christinadellar // Website: www.frecklesandblush.com & www.frecklemag.com

My story with Jesus is exactly that… a story. It has bad chapters, funny bits and pages I regret. But no matter what chapter I am at, I am consistently amazed by who my Lord is. I mean my jaw drops when I learn yet another new side of him that I had never known before.

For so long in my life, Jesus was a man with a beard in a robe. He was nice. He was a goodie too shoes. I was a mess and He was perfect. I don’t know where these weird images of Jesus came from (I blame my children’s bible) but I could never shake the image of Him just being all… soft. God was the man in the sky, who was the boss. He was also a little… soft.

One of the big life changing moments for me was when I was going through a particularly hard time. My trust had been broken; I was feeling lacking in every way as a woman. I was sad… a deep, in my gut type of sad. I did what was instinct and reached for my bible and turned to Psalm.

I was drawn to Psalm 18 and it shocked me to my core.

In my distress I called to the Lord;
    I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
    my cry came before him, into his ears.
The earth trembled and quaked,
    and the foundations of the mountains shook;
    they trembled because he was angry.

I started to read and my eyes were drawn to one word. Angry. Wait God was angry? But why? Then I read on.

Smoke rose from his nostrils;
    consuming fire came from his mouth,
    burning coals blazed out of it.
He parted the heavens and came down;
    dark clouds were under his feet.
10 He mounted the cherubim and flew;
    he soared on the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
    the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Ok He is ticked.

I mean have you ever heard of such anger? He is hiding under darkness… I didn’t even know God could do that. There is fire coming out of his mouth… that’s fierce anger. So I keep reading. He keeps being really, really angry for a while and then I read what my soul had been longing for.

16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
    he drew me out of deep waters.
17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
    from my foes, who were too strong for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
    but the Lord was my support.
19 He brought me out into a spacious place;
    he rescued me because he delighted in me.

In a moment when I was feeling very unloved I met my Lord for the first time. I knew Him but I didn’t know what He was like. He was my hero. He was my Saviour. He was tough!!! He wasn’t weak, timid or just up in the clouds. He loved me and had rage towards anyone who tried to hurt me… and why?? Simply because He delighted in me.

I have never known anything so beautiful.

So here I am years later and I know my Lord. I have grown so much since understanding that He is strong and powerful. My husband and I are making big changes in our lives to follow what we hear God telling us. Changes that involve me packing my home, and leaving comfort.

Changes where I can feel my faith growing. Faith through tears and pain. Faith where God says one thing and my bank account another. A kind of faith where I am not scared to go on an adventure with God because… drum roll please….He delights in me!

So don’t even try to touch me or you will have my Lord to deal with… and He can get angry!

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