Reason to Trust #33 [Amber]

Amber MillerAge: 27 // Favourite Food: Ice Cream (not the dainty girly serving size, but a massive, overflowing bowl) // Dream Job: I’ll let you know when I find it. // Current Season: Selling my home, quitting my job as a teacher, and going back to school…in another country. // Met Jesus: at age 7 in the front row of my then church. // Favourite Verse: Isaiah 54:10 – “For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, 
My love won’t walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart. The God who has compassion on you says so.” // Website: www.lifeinhigheels.com // Instagram: @aemiller16

Be still and know that I am God. ~ Psalm 46:10

We all know this verse. It is one of those verses you scribble on your notebook or you edit it into a beautiful picture of you lying on the beach while your tan body is glistening in the sun and your perfectly manicured toes are in the sand.

This verse is beautiful in theory, but allow me to tell you about how good I’m not at being still! Those who know me well, know I am incapable of being still-EVER.

If I am sitting: I am shaking my foot, leg or whole body (yeah, the person that shakes the whole row at church….that’s me!). If I am standing: I am rocking, twisting, or shaking my legs. I can’t even be still in bed! I am always twitching and rubbing my feet. And then there is my mind….I can analyze something 206 ways in approximately 2.2 seconds and I can twist and turn something that is no big deal into a massive problem.

So, whenever I see this verse or hear God whisper it to me, my first thought is usually  “No, God you have the wrong girl, remember it is impossible for me to be still…EVER! This verse is for someone else.” Well, God never seems to change his mind, but He has quite frequently changed my heart.

Lately, I have found myself in “still” boot camp.

Four weeks ago I left my quiet, comfortable life in West Virginia, USA to travel to Australia to attend Hillsong International Leadership College. With this decision came many big, and a bit scary, life changes. I had to resign from my position as a kindergarten teacher, sell my first home, find a temporary home for my only child (a 2 year old Shih Tzu), and prepare to say goodbye to my closest friends and family.

Along this journey I have asked God countless times: “What are you doing? Why are you taking me on this path? I have a good life. I am a good teacher. How am I going to afford this? Can I even do this?”

Though the questions seem to vary, His answer always seems to be the same – be still, and know that I am God.

It’s not easy for me to give up control and not have a plan B (you know, in case God’s plan A doesn’t come through). Since I have been here I have been reminded time and time again that with God there are no needs for plan B’s because God has a strategic and deliberate plan A for each of our lives.

A couple of days before I left my home I sat in my bedroom journalling and the thought hit me, that in that moment I was in a home filled with family that loved me and knew me well, but in just a few short days I was going to be in a house full of strangers.

I was so scared. What if I don’t find friends? What if I don’t fit in? What if I can’t handle college again? I took all these questions and concerns to God and just pleaded my case. Once again He asked me to just be still.

Now four weeks in I live with incredible housemates. I have a room in the house all to myself with a massive closet (this just proves how well God knows my heart).

I am not just making friends, but making friends with people from around the world. And already in just my second Sunday at Hillsong church I stood there among thousands of other people with tears in my eyes for almost the entire service. I was overwhelmed with a peace. I felt like I was home. I was still in His presence and KNEW He was going to be God every step of the way along this journey.

I still didn’t have all the answers to all my questions about this adventure, but despite the questions I know I am exactly where I am suppose to be in this season. Home.

 

 

Standard

2 thoughts on “Reason to Trust #33 [Amber]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *