Reason to Trust #1 [Deborah]

DeborahAge: 28 // Favourite Food: My home made 12 hour lamb. // Dream Job: Event Manager, Singer, Wife, Mum, Traveller, Prime Minister, Professional Pinterester, Philanthropist… Yet to be decided. // Current Season: Single in a world full of “married with kids”, working fulltime, great friends, I love my sleep. // Met Jesus: At 5 years old, around our kitchen table. // Favourite Verse: Psalm 27:8 – My heart has heard You say “Come and talk with me” and my heart responds “Lord I am coming.” // Blog: www.reasonstotrust.com // Instagram: @deborahmichellestanton

I was 18 years old, sitting in my bed, crying my eyes out.

I had grown up as a pastor’s kid in Australia, loving God, loving church, loving life. I had been 17, finishing high school and had comfortably planned my next few years when I felt God speak to me about moving to overseas, instead of moving cities to do bible college.

Which was fine. I could do that. I trusted God. I sung songs about trusting God. My favourite verse was “Trust in The Lord with all of your heart…” My calling was beginning. I totally had this nailed.

Fast forward a year and there I sat, overseas, in my bed crying. I was alone. So alone. In a country I had been in for 6 days, in my new room, in my new house, with people I had just met properly in person for the first time that day. I had enough money in my account to call a taxi to the airport and book a flight back home that night. This did not feel like what I thought it was going to feel like. I was terrified. I was overwhelmed. I was freaking out.

So I did what every 18 year old, who had just moved countries to step into the call of God, did – I called my parents.

They had people over for dinner, so were taking turns making jokes, reassuring me and trying to distract me from my overwhelming sense of “what have I done?”

The phone call came to an end, I was still crying. I could hear the people I now lived with in the kitchen and I had NO IDEA what they were talking about, cause I didn’t know them. Just that they were a nice Christian family, who had a room for a girl, who had just joined the church.

And so came the crunch time. I grabbed my Message bible which was next to my bed and in a moment of “God I need you to speak to me now, or I am not going to be able to keep breathing,” I did the faithful “Flick and Pick.” (Open bible at random and hope where your eyes land on the page, is the verse for you.)

And here’s what I opened to:

Psalm 45:11

NOW LISTEN DAUGHTER, DON’T MISS A WORD

FORGET YOUR COUNTRY, PUT YOUR HOME BEHIND YOU

BE HERE – THE KING IS WILD FOR YOU

SINCE HE’S YOUR LORD, ADORE HIM.

So I threw my bible against the wall. Jokes

In my absolute panic, fear and loneliness, God spoke.

He addressed me as daughter.

He spoke directly to my circumstances.

And He turned my eyes back onto Him.

My situation did not change. It still took a long time, and many more tears to connect with people and really feel at home in my new surroundings. But in that moment, He calmed my fears and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that GOD KNEW and that GOD WAS WITH ME, and that HE WAS WORTH TRUSTING.

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