Age:43 // Favourite Food: Thai Food. // Dream Job: Already doing it! // Current Season: Full time mum. Working part time as a vocal coach and a freelance singer. // Met Jesus: At 14 at a Y-One Rally (Christian performing tour team) // Favourite Verse:Psalm 27:4: “One thing I ask, the one thing I seek. Is that I will dwell in the house of the Lord all my days.” // Instagram: @nessabernethy // Website: www.nessabernethy.com
I got saved. I started serving God at church. I was using my passion to build His house and his Kingdom. I got married in 1996 and my husband and I were in ministry together, on the worship team… perfect…right?!
Well after being married for 4 years, I found out that my husband had been having an affair, and my world fell apart.
We owned a business, and we had been able to purchase this because my mum had remortgaged her house for us. I mean “what could go wrong?!” If the business didn’t prosper, we would just go and get other jobs and pay back the loan. No-one had thought that our marriage would fail.
Still in 2000, I found myself broken, alone, fearful for my future, ashamed and in disbelief. I could not believe this had happened to me? I had done it all right! However my husband had made a decision and his decision caused my world to crumble.
I remember crying out to God, wondering how I would cope. I remember facing thoughts of suicide. The pain and sense of rejection was overwhelming.
But God heard me. He inclined His ear.
I clearly remember crying… no wait, HOWLING in my bed in the early hours of the morning. I literally felt like I was sinking into my bed as I was flooded with hopelessness and anxiety.
I did the classic “GOD… You need to speak to me. You need to let me know I’m going to be okay.” I opened my bible and began to read the first thing my eyes fell on. And without a word of a lie the first thing I read was NESS. Crazy I know – but the word righteousness hadn’t fitted on the page, so it had been split off. So here is how it looked and this is what it said:
ISAIAH 62 v 2 – 4. 8 – 9. 11 – 12 2 The nations shall see your righteous- ness. Kings shall be blinded by your glory; and God will confer on you a new name. He will hold you aloft in his hands for all to see – a splendid crown for the Kind of kings. Never again shall you be called “The God-forsaken Land” or the “Land that God forgot.” Your new name will be “The Land of Gods Delight” and “The Bride,” for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his own.
8 The Lord has sworn to Jerusalem with all his integrity: “I will never again give you to your enemies; never again shall foreign soldiers come and take away your grain and wine. You raised it; you shall keep it, praising God.
11 See, the Lord has sent his messengers to every land and said, “Tell my people, I, the Lord your God, am coming to save you and will bring your many gifts. and they shall be called “The Holy People” and “The Lord’s Redeemed,” and “The Land of Desire” and “The City God Has Blessed”
WOW. God had me. God understood, and God, in His love, was going to restore me. His word cast a vision for my life… and without one, as the Word says, we perish. This showed me, and told me God was more than able and more than willing to carry me through this hard season. That He would restore and rebuild me. Sounds like the bionic woman – ha!
That I did not need to be afraid or anxious, that I was not alone, and that He was my hope. I just needed to trust Him to do what He promised. To continue to lift my eyes, lift my voice, hold Jesus’ hand … and walk with Him.
I can honestly say that without God, I know I would be in a different place in my life. Love is risk, trusting is risk… but if you never love or trust, you will never fully live.
For me this says it all – as sung in the bridge of the song, “I breathe you in God” by Brian and Katie Torwalt:
“When I don’t understand, I will choose you. When I don’t understand, I will choose you God. When I don’t understand, I will choose to love you God.”
We will never understand some things. Bad stuff happens to good people. But when we fully trust God he really is able to work ALL things together for good for those that love Him.
I am now happily married to an amazing man called Bruce. We have been married for 6yrs. We have 2 beautiful children, Levi (4) and Grace (2 and a half).
God really is the restorer.
He is faithful to fulfil the dreams of our hearts.