Reason to Trust #19 [Annie]

Annie WilsonAge: 49 // Favourite Food: Kiwi onion dip and chips // Dream Job: Mission Field/Preaching… or on some days running a gallery with great coffee! // Current Season: Involuntary single…and in a process of recalibration…I work with people who need complex care as a result of spinal injury or brain trauma. // Met Jesus: When I was 5. I remember drawing a picture of Jesus on the cross with me at his feet. I have always been deeply connected to Jesus but don’t remember a ‘moment.’ // Favourite Verse:  Jeremiah 33:3 – “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you unsearchable things that you do not know. // Instagram: @anneewilson // Book: Hope Regardless

I’ve been alive a long time and have known Jesus since I can remember. I walk daily trusting Him.

My favourite scripture starts with the words “Call to me” which in itself beckons me to trust that He is there waiting if I lean in to Him.

There have been so many times in my life where I have had to trust. During the last few years it has been a daily decision to trust Him.

You see, I woke one morning two and a half years ago and found my husband had died during the night. I prayed for Craig to be healed and for him to live – he didn’t – I was too late.

Were my earnest prayers begging God to heal not ‘good’ enough? My reoccurring question has been – where was my God who ‘watches over His children while they sleep?’ Was it not His will for Craig to live?

Can I still trust in a good God, a God who can heal, a God who is for me not against me?

Some days I can emphatically answer ‘yes’ to this question. When everything in me resonates that I can trust Him. Then there are the other days when my trauma overrides my sensibilities, I struggle to find a peace and have to surrender to the mystery of my God.

Looking back, since Craig ‘disappeared’ from my life I have had to make many decisions. One of the biggest was to make a career change. After working at a church for seven years in a creative role I had clarity that I was to ‘step away’.

That was where the clarity ended!

Having no clear thoughts on what was next, I resigned. I began relaxing into His embrace knowing that there would be something for me at the right time. So now, as a sole parent and provider I was having a sabbatical. In the mix of this I had decided to purchase a house and the mortgage started on my final leaving date from work – no pressure!

Not knowing what field of work I wanted to head in to or what I was qualified to do now, I spent the time giving my new home a creative overhaul. After about six weeks I thought I should probably put a CV together. So I got that happening in between coffees with friends and painting walls.

Then God moved His hand. I got a call from one of my minders to introduce me to a recruitment officer. I went for a catch-up and they offered me a job that day, couriered me a contract the day after and I began work as a serious injury/complex care consultant the day after that. Easy – new career.

I love my job, my nursing background has come to the fore, the capacity and comfortability (probably not even a word but you get the idea) to be with recently injured people and their families in the midst of their trauma and life changes is a gift. Although it’s hard to be constantly reminded of the fragile life we are leading and living breath to breath I feel so honoured that in a complete circle God trusts me with people He loves. It confirms in me that there is more to me, than me!

God, through people, has shown me over and over again since that fear-filled day and the many that have followed that He loves, that He is gracious, that He cares, that He provides, that He is close and that I can keep my hand in His and trust Him to lead me through the valley to an open field… to something new.

It’s a decision to trust Him. The rewards, well they are peace and comfort, they are hope and they are the ability to keep living and to keep giving to others.

‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you unsearchable things that you do not know’… Amen

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