Age: 29 // Favourite Food: Good Mexican // Dream Job: Professional Shopper? Ha // Current Season: Stay at home Mum. // Met Jesus: At age 3. // Favourite Verse: Psalm 27. // Instagram: @candygirlb
I’m a structured, organised, control freak type. I love plans and goals. Every January growing up I was taught to sit down and write goals for the year ahead. I’ve always known exactly where I was heading, the steps needed to get there and which one was next. Life was not without challenges but generally speaking things just worked and flowed.
They say you never know what a day will bring and seven years ago the world as I knew it changed completely in virtually one day through circumstances beyond my control (but that’s a story for another day).
Every aspect of my life was affected. I found myself suddenly no longer able to travel on the path I was on. In the midst of this I also became a Mum. Anyone who has had kids knows you can plan all you like but sometimes the plan goes out the window. My husband changed careers and his work schedule is very spontaneous and unplanned and often involves travel (and that’s an understatement). So here I was everything different, at home with little kids and a hubby that is often away and absolutely no plan at all.
I still had goals but I was really struggling feeling like I was cooped up at home going nowhere and certainly not making my mark on the world. Truthfully it’s something that I still struggle with and have to keep in check.
I’d love to say that I heard an audible voice or some super spiritual moment that was my turning point but it wasn’t like that, for me God spoke through Oprah.
Yep you read that right, Oprah.
I was home alone one night, put the kids into bed and sat down to watch Oprah’s final show that I had taped and not had a chance to watch. I knew I would be inspired watching it but it was so much more than that.
I had spent four years in complete confusion. Not knowing what I was meant to be doing, what my purpose or calling was. Complaining and whinging at my husband and being grouchy at my kids while I looked elsewhere for the big, amazing thing it was that I’m called to. It wasn’t until I watched Oprah’s show that I realized, like a slap in the head, that the big thing I am called to is right in front of me.
All the stuff I was doing before my ‘storm’ was over, gone, the season was finished. The ‘big’ ‘important’ thing now IS supporting my husband in his career and all he feels called to AND most of all raising the three amazing children God has given me! They are in this next season my calling. Raising them to be the best they can, to know love and security. It had been in front of me all along but until that night I didn’t SEE it. I almost instantaneously no longer felt sidelined and like my life was on hold.
Sometimes I can’t see past the day in front of me but I have learnt and am continuing to learn (because I am really good at forgetting) to just trust and rest that He’s got it sorted. I don’t have to run around like a crazy woman trying to ‘make’ it all happen because I might ‘miss out’.
I have to rest and trust.
He knows the dreams I have and his plan and timing is perfect.
So for now I am doing what is in my hand to do – support my hubby and raise and love my babies. AND I have made a promise to take opportunities, like this one when they come my way.
I am definitely no expert on trust, infact I feel like the least qualified person to be talking about it BUT I am learning, as we all are to let go of the reins because lets face it, we’re not actually in control anyway…..are we? Haha.
Prov 3:5 – Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.