Age: 34 // Favourite Food: Grilled Lemon + Garlic Prawn and Tiramisu // Dream Job: To walk in my destiny // Current Season: Married, a Mum of 2, (9 week old girl and 2.5 yr old boy) and owner of a business called Heavenly Sent // Met Jesus:At 18 years old when revival hit our church – Open Doors. // Favourite Verse: Timothy 1:7 – ”For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” // Website: www.heavenlysent.co.nz
I was 24 years of age. I didn’t think I would ever marry and DID NOT WANT any children!
I had been in pre-mature relationships since I was 12 and every time after 2 years the relationship would break up for some reason. Be it cheating, discomfort, rejection – I have encountered it all. From then on I expected the same every time a new relationship started.
I was brought up in a Christian home, Christian values etc. I had a dad in my life, but he was absent in his own presence. I was longing for acceptance and someone to love me. Since the age of 12, I committed to relationships way beyond my emotional and physical maturity – which tore not only my self-esteem but also my spirit.
I was physically, emotionally and spiritually abused, broken and torn apart. A skeleton with no flesh. I vowed never to marry or have children, as I never wanted them to go through the same.
A prophetic word was given to me by a friend when I was 18, and may I add I thought this was from the devil – I was furious!
He said “God is going to turn your mourning into dancing, but first he is going to burn down the old flesh. I see someone setting you alight and oh dear I can smell the flesh…it’s burning… I can see the rotten meat falling off and only a skeleton is left over. God is going to remould you and shape you but… everything has to die first.”
Now that was overwhelming.
Fast forward after more relationships, and I am now 24. People found out that once they quit playing with me, the box I came in was beautifully wrapped, but empty!
I got involved with drugs whilst working in church. I thought I lived the perfect life and God could still use me, even though I was living this double life. But NO – God had other plans.
I was in a relationship with someone who I thought was finally the perfect guy. A match made in heaven. Two years later… we broke up. I had to part with drugs and finally face reality.
Fear started to fill my soul – I was suspicious, hallucinating, hurting, trusted no one, afraid of everything and locked myself in the house and all the curtains had to be shut.
I had nothing left and NOTHING to lose. I had to admit that even though I was not a prostitute in public – I committed the same sin, even if I was in long term relationships. It’s NO different.
I had to turn to GOD.
I decided to fast for three days… which then turned into twelve days in which my flesh burned and my heart was lavished and chased by GOD. He wooed me and I “married” my beloved in my room and I was overcome and very much in love!
Hosea 2:14 says,“I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her. I will give her the Valley of Achor as a door of hope, she shall sing there. And it shall be, in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me “My Husband” and no longer call Me “My Master”.
For the very first time since I can remember I had not been involved in any relationship for a full year. God redeemed me again, and again and again, like Hagar.
And then finally I met a friend, who courted me – not take me to bed first. Who got to know who I was and loved me for that. And I knew, this is what God wanted for me.
God had to be very clear with His confirmation, as I would not settle for less than what I experienced with him. I was working one day, doing a stock take, when I found a bible and I opened it. God gave me this:
Isaiah 54: “For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman. For you will forget the shame of your youth, For your Maker is Your Husband. But with great mercies I will gather you… with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you!”
God promised me that He will lay my stones with colourful gems and my foundations with sapphires.
“All your children shall be taught by the LORD”.
Today I have been married with the love of my life and we have two children! My mum still can’t believe that she has two grandchildren.
When God starts a good work it’s only done when he says it is. I’m still being transformed every day!